7-Dec-2007

http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/bO2DwWrAoYNOumn.vW,7M7mVyZs1EGo5

:edit:

Sorry, for those of you that read the above post and/or commented, this wasn’t supposed to be a real post. I was just using Xanga to to send this link to my work so I wouldn’t have to email it to myself instead. It was supposed to be marked as private. Efficiency is intelligent laziness I guess.
I know, I know, you thought you finally had incontrovertable evidence that I was a certified Mormublican. Seeing as how that’s not the case though, in the words of Dark Helmet: “foooled you!”.

The real story is that this has been one of the best speeches of the campaign season so far. He references Kennedy’s 1960 speech on his Catholic faith. “Let me assure you that no
authorities of my church, or of any other church for that matter, will
ever exert influence on presidential decisions. Their authority is
theirs, within the province of church affairs, and it ends where the
affairs of the nation begin”. He only specifically talks about mormons one or twice, mostly it was about how he views separation of church and state – no freaky doctrinal explanations necessary. He also gave lots of quotes from Sam Adams on the diversity of religion during the Founding Father’s day. In effect: they came together, we can come together, all different religions of faith. He also says: “My convictions will indeed inform my presidency, not direct it”. There’s lot’s more and he’s very eloquent here for a change but you should just watch it, especially the middle half.

It’s Alive!

Seeing as how Jacob is almost a year old now I was thinking it was about time I taught him how to walk. Crawling can only get you so far y’know.

edit: looks like the videos might not be working, check the video blog

Here is my first videoed attempt, notice the fake out he gives me at about 20 seconds into it.

Attempt #2…

Success…
That’s right: hands free at mark 8, left foot at mark 10, right at 11, left again, right again at mark 13, and finally the hold for balance at the end so no one thinks it was a fake.

He might might be wobbly and the video poor quality, but it still makes me happy inside to see him do it.

Keeping this up and he might actually get to have some siblings after all.

9-Oct-2007

Survey

Here a survey I stole from Rachel.

1. Are you taller than your best friend?
Yes, Little Man J’s only 31″

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
Dr. Grip, writes perfectly from the first stroke to the last, had it over 8yrs now

3. Look at your planner for October 14, what are you doing?
my planner says that I don’t plan things that far in advance.

4.What color are your toenails usually?
rounded rouge

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
this text to erase Rachel’s answer to put in mine

6. What color are the curtains in your bedroom?
blu

7. What color is the shirt your wearing?
hairy-chest brown

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
no, but it was read-all-over

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
a spider?

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
no

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
Costco chicken bakes

12. Whose is the last baby that you held?
mine!
13.Can you spell well?
w e l l

14. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste?
yeah, but it doesn’t like me, boo

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
same one as today, 1999 altima.

16. Pick one: Bengals or Steelers?
Bengals

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
nevah

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
no, it’s a rental

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow?
Hansen’s Smoothie can has a banana on it, so whatever ink they use to put labels on cans.

20. Last person to give you a business card?
some guy

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
??

22. Closest framed picture to you?
none

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
Eliza poured the milk on my Frostd mini Wheates this morning.

24. Have you ever applied for welfare?
no, but my taxes pay for it.

25. How many emails do you get in your inbox (excluding spam)?
work – 4/day; yahoo – 3/week (usually warfish eliminiateds); hotmail – 3/week; Gmail – 2/month

26. Last time you received flowers?
my niece gave me one within the last 6 months

27. How fast can you type?
not very. Acutally I can type pretty fast while looking at the keys, but not when typing the “correct” way

28. Do you play air guitar?
only air base-guitar

29. Has anyone ever proposed to you?
no dangnabbit, and I’m still waiting!

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
Is this question even correct english?

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?
No, I’m a guy.

32. What is/was your high school teams rival?
I think it was Leland?

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
my sister

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
when germs were encroaching

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
I would

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?
manufactured home beige

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
“Rose is Rose” unfortunately

39. What was the last pageant you attended?
temple pageant. – ?

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
Izzys

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
I wear 3 concurrently

42. What is the last thing you stapled?
not my belly; some moulding that had come loose

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?
gross

44. Are you ticklish?
when I want to be

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
In front of my wife’s sister’s husband’s father’s house.

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
more than 8 hrs = too long ago

47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually returned?
email = 2 hrs ago; phone = last week?

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
? ?

49. Do you have a black dog?
only on my iPod

50.Can you give one reason why David Carouso is allowed to keep acting?
who?

51. Are you an aunt or uncle?
yes, one of the two

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?
me, ha!

53. Last time you saw a semi truck?
no half trucks here

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
Wow, up ’till now I had thought this survey was getting too long and should have stopped at 20 Q’s. But, but, to get a mention in about UKJ has made it all worthwhile. You might not understand: I like the music I do today because of UKJ. *cue flashback sequence* Christmas, I was 13, parents gave me a dual cassette boombox and the edited version of UKJs “America’s Least Wanted”. I listened to it over and over. I even still have that very tape. So yes young one, you see, I do remember Ugly Kid Joe.

55. Do you have a little black dress?
nope

Wintertime?

Almost every year my body reverts to being more Cavemanish than usual after summertime. Since it is getting colder up here, the cold weather triggers the those pesky Ugs, from my basal brain, to revolt:

Ug #1 brrr, iz gettin cowld
Ug #2 nah, iz jest da vind blowin
Ug #3 when iz cold an vind blow, no much fud no more
Ug #1 uh jah! we tell stommak, he always get us fud
Ug #3 jah, stommak get for us
Ug #2 no, no tell stommak yet, we hav plenty nuff already
[Ug #1 & Ug #3 pummel Ug #2]
Ug #1 we tell stommak every day…
Ug #3 MOR FUD!

And this goes on and on until my stupid Ugs think to themselves that it’s too cold to go out and tell my stomach to eat. Then they just stay inside and wait until next season. This is what I call “The Hunger”, no matter how much I eat 2 hours later I’m hungry again. Not just that I want to eat, which can be normal, but that my stomach actually feels empty again. Am I actually digesting faster? What’s up with that?

Stupid Ugs.

I build Big Brother

I am creating Big Brother right now; 8 to 5 every weekday.

The code I write connects police and sheriff databases to each other so that if you get arrested for a crime in one area the police in another area can look it up real-time and see your history (very specific) and outstanding warrants etc. Usually I feel like it’s a good thing and I ask why it isn’t being done already. This day however, it seems like I’m part of some huge uncontrolled plot to…, well I just don’t know exactly what it is (like Project Mayhem?). Ah well, what’s a guy to do.

About a third of my time is spent combing through database records to find test cases — actual people that got arrested at some point and (hopefully) have a lot of data about them that is distinguishing, unique, and [often] hilarious. Most of the data comes from Louisianna, so if you know anyone there I could potentially look up their arrest record [for fun and profit :)]. I’m sure it’d be a security breech somewhere but eh; they usually obfuscate the data anyways so it doesn’t even matter. How’d ya like that “obfuscate” I snuck in there, perdy fancy huh.

So use your imagination, what types of information could be put together. Credit history, bank accounts, arrests, military service, job history, any and all publicly available (or cheaply bought) info brought together; it’s summarized, categorized and spit back out to those who pay us. So running from state to state or county to county won’t hide your criminal past, for better or worse. It may seem that these things are being done already, true, major contracts go to bigger guys, but for a few million we can give access to most governmental agencies at the smallest local level. Nobody else does that. Moral of the story: stay out of the system by staying out of trouble.

Perhaps this is the other side of having a job that changes the world: the world can actually change.